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Strong
People Overcome Challenges
Martin
Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania has studied this phenomenon more
than anyone else has, and he’s found that success in life is driven by one
critical distinction—whether you believe that your failures are produced by
personal deficits beyond your control or that they are mistakes you can fix
with effort.
Success
isn’t the only thing determined by your mindset. Seligman has found much higher
rates of depression in people who attribute their failures to personal
deficits. Optimists fare better; they treat failure as learning experiences and
believe they can do better in the future.
This
success mindset requires emotional intelligence (EQ), and it’s no wonder that,
among the million-plus people that Talent Smart has tested, 90% of
top performers have high EQs.
It’s
truly fascinating how successful people approach problems. Where others see
impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to embrace and obstacles to
overcome. Their confidence in the face of hardship is driven by the ability to
let go of the negativity that holds so many otherwise sensible people back.
Maintaining
the success mindset isn’t easy. There are Challenges, in particular, that tend
to shatter it. These challenges drag people down because they appear to be
barriers that cannot be overcome. Not so for successful people, as these seven
challenges never hold them back.
1. Fear
Fear
is nothing more than a lingering emotion that’s fueled by your
imagination. Danger is real. It’s the uncomfortable rush of
adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice.
Successful people know this better than anyone does, so they flip fear on its
head. They are addicted to the euphoric feeling they get from conquering their
fears.
Don’t
ever hold back in life just because you feel scared. I often hear people say,
“What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet, death
isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you...
“The worst thing that can happen to you is
allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.”
2. Negativity
Life
won’t always go the way you want it to, but when it comes down to it, you have
the same 24 hours in the day as everyone else does. Successful people make
their time count. Instead of complaining about how things could have been or
should have been, they reflect on everything they have to be grateful for. Then
they find the best solution available, tackle the problem, and move on.
When
the negativity comes from someone else, successful people avoid it by setting
limits and distancing themselves from it. Think of it this way:
“If the complainer were smoking, would you sit
there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke?”
Of
course not. You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with all
negative people.
A
great way to stop complainers in their tracks is to ask them how they intend to
fix the problem they’re complaining about. They will either quiet down or
redirect the conversation in a productive direction.
3. The Past or the Future
Like
fear, the past and the future are products of your mind. No amount of guilt can
change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. Successful
people know this, and they focus on living in the present moment. It’s
impossible to reach your full potential if you’re constantly somewhere else,
unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment.
To
live in the moment, you must do two things:
1) Accept
your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you
and it will create your future. Successful people know the only good time to
look at the past is to see how far you’ve come.
2) Accept
the uncertainty of the future, and don’t place unnecessary expectations
upon yourself. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said,
“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”
4. Age
Age
really is just a number. Successful people don’t let their age define
who they are and what they are capable of. Just ask Betty White or any young,
thriving entrepreneur.
I
remember a professor in graduate school who told our class that we were all too
young and inexperienced to do consulting work. He said we had to go work for
another company for several years before we could hope to succeed as
independent consultants. I was the youngest person in the class, and I sat
there doing work for my consulting clients while he droned on.
Without
fail, people feel compelled to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do
because of your age. Don’t listen to them. Successful people certainly don’t.
They follow their heart and allow their passion—not the body they’re living
in—to be their guide.
“They follow their heart and allow their
passion—not the body they’re living in—to be their guide.”
5. What Other People Think
When
your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to
others, you are no longer the master of your own destiny. While it’s impossible
to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to hold
up your accomplishments to anyone else’s, and you can always take people’s
opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are
thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.
Successful
people know that caring about what other people think is a waste of time and
energy. When successful people feel good about something that they’ve done,
they don’t let anyone’s opinions take that away from them.
“No matter what other people think of you at any
particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say
you are.”
6. Toxic People
Successful
people believe in a simple notion: you are the average of the five people you
spend the most time with.
Just
think about it—some of the most successful companies in recent history were
founded by brilliant pairs. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak of Apple lived in the
same neighborhood, Bill Gates and Paul Allen of Microsoft met in prep school,
and Sergey Brin and Larry Page of Google met at Stanford.
Just
as great people help you to reach your full potential, toxic people drag you
right down with them. Whether it's negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or
just plain craziness, toxic people create stress and strife that should be
avoided at all costs.
If
you’re unhappy with where you are in your life, just take a look around. More
often than not, the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are the root of your
problems.
“You’ll never reach your peak until you surround
yourself with the right people.”
7. The State of the World
Keep
your eyes on the news for any length of time and you’ll see it’s just one
endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies,
and environmental disasters. It’s easy to think the world is headed downhill
fast.
And
who knows? Maybe it is. But successful people don’t worry about that because
they don’t get caught up in things they can’t control. Instead, they focus
their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their
power—their attention and their effort. They focus their attention on all the
things they’re grateful for, and they look for the good that’s happening in the
world. They focus their effort on doing what they can every single day to
improve their own lives and the world around them, because these small steps
are all it takes to make the world a better place.
“They focus their effort on doing what they can
every single day to improve their own lives and the world around them...”
Assembling all Points:
Your
success is driven by your mindset. With discipline and focus, you can ensure
that these seven obstacles never hold you back from reaching your full
potential.
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